When I got out of graduate school, I pretty much knew what I would need to do to be a successful researcher- get lots of grant money, publish a bunch of good papers, and hire functional students and staff. Getting tenure, eventually becoming a full Professor, and having an active and funded research career were clear priorities, but so were having a family and a enjoying a good quality of life with a semblance of balance. I had no idea how to make all of that happen, and I worried about when to start my family in a way that would not kill my academic career. So now that I’ve done it and lived to tell the tale, what are the most important lessons I’ve learned? Well, here are two:

Pay Attention to Politics: Like it or not, it’s essential to become and remain aware of the political winds around you as you plan to start a family and pursue an academic career. Happily, it’s no longer the case that as I was told during the first year of my faculty position, by a female administrator no less, that “Women are either Mommies of Professors, but never both,” but being sensitive to climate and making sure that you find a landing place that truly is supportive of combining family and academia is critical. I was not politically savvy, for example, when I started my postdoc, and although I had hoped to start my family in that position, it turned out that my postdoc mentor, although a mother herself, was inflexible and dictatorial. Ideally, I should have been able to negotiate with her such that I could have started my family and worked on a compromise that met her needs and mine, but it became clear that such a conversation would not be productive. Working with her, I began to learn the hard way about the impact of politics in the academic world. My advice is not to put your life on hold as I did for political reasons, but to be aware and deliberate in coordinating your activities to assure that you do not get into a damaging political situation.

Sometimes, Separation is a Good Thing. In other words, don’t try to merge your parent and professor duties. For example, do not lecture to your classes with your baby in a sling, and avoid bringing children to faculty meetings and other non-social university obligations. Attempts to combine your two worlds in this way, first, assure that you are unable to attend sufficiently to either one, and are unprofessional. On the other hand, depending on the culture in your department, it may be fine to bring your baby from time to time when you are just working in your office (not having office hours or meetings). On a related note, caution should also be exercised when deciding whether or not to bring kids and families to professional meetings; remember that as a pre-tenure faculty member, those conferences are incredibly important for making connections and getting your work known. Can you really do that well with a baby on your hip or a nagging feeling that you need to cut out of a poster session to meet your family at the pool? Sometimes mixing business and pleasure can backfire, so tread carefully.

These are just a couple of the gems of successfully starting a family while effectively navigating the academic world I’ve accumulated in my career. Parenting and being a Professor are growing, dynamic, and creative processes, and require time and discipline. My experience has taught me that keeping these two worlds separated at crucial times and points is essential to succeeding in and having the time to enjoy them both.

Tags: academia, academic career, baby, faculty, faculty position, family, getting tenure, Mommies, parenting, quality of life, research career, university

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 13th, 2008 at 8:34 am and is filed under family, university, women, work/life balance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.