Most likely, we’ve all heard or read at least the first part of  the Serenity Prayer at least once, whether religion is part of our lives or not: 

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. “

Regardless of whether organized religion is a centerpiece of your life or not, the lessons of this short prayer are powerful and fundamental.  The core message for me in this prayer is to take a deep breath and think about that challenges before you, choose your battles, and keep the “big picture” of your life in mind.  When the going gets tough for me, I remember this short prayer and reframe my thinking to align with it.  When I feel frustration and anger rising up in me at work or at home, I stop and think about what is upsetting me, whether I can change it, and if so, how.  If I cannot change it, I work to let it go gracefully, especially when it comes to issues with my co-workers or spouse.  Although I can imagine that there could be things in the “cannot change” category that might be “show-stoppers”,   I find that my tolerance for accepting things I cannot change is increasing as I age.  Part of the reason for this is that by accepting the premise of the Serenity Prayer that it’s only worth putting energy into changing things that I can change, and trying to alter things I do not control will only breed frustration. 

Over  the years, I’ve found that the fundamental message offered in the Serenity Prayer is at the core of my coaching work, whether with life coaching clients, academic clients, or corporate clients.  The basic message is that if you’re going to move forward, you have to be able to set and focus on goals, look for the path that gets you there, find the obstacles that may befall you, determine which of these you can alleviate and which ones you cannot, and once you’ve determined that, how you will proceed to affect the changes you need to to reach your goals and move past the things that you may not like, but that you cannot change.  In other words, how to do what you can, and not worry about what you cannot do. 

Paint your big picture, pick your battles, concentrate your energy on the areas in which you can affect change to realize your goals, and let the rest of the stuff go.