This time of year I get lots of folks thinking about how to control stress in this New Year. Part of this conversation always involves discussiding the myths and realities of what stress does to our bodies and our health, and what we can do to alleviate those effects. Here are the basics of that conversation:

What is Stress?

Stress is often defined as events, situations, emotions, and interactions which are perceived as negatively affecting your well being.

What are some common causes of stress?
Stress can be brought about by a traumatic accident, death, or emergency situation. Stress can also be a side effect of a serious illness or disease. Stress can also arise from positive things. There is also stress associated with daily life, the workplace, and family responsibilities.
What are some early signs of stress?
Stress can take on many different forms, and can contribute to symptoms of illness. Common symptoms include headache, sleep disorders, difficulty concentrating, short-temper, upset stomach, job dissatisfaction, low morale, depression, and anxiety.
How do our bodies respond to stress?

In response to stress, our bodies undergo a cascade of physiological events which help us cope with the stressful situation. Perception of a stress activates the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), a process known as the “fight or flight” response, which mobilizes energy to help us respond to the stress. For example, activation of the SNS diverts blood flow away form the stomach and digestion to the heart and lungs to prepare for a possible need to run away form a threat. Stress also increases release of cortisol from our adrenal glands, which further contributes to redirecting energy toward dealing with stress and away from other bodily functions. At the conclusion of the stress, all these reactions are reduced to normal levels, and the body quickly returns to its state or balance, or “homeostasis”. This is a normal pattern of stress responsivity and recovery, and when this happens, we remain healthy in our minds and bodies and, importantly, ready to respond to the inevitable stresses that will come our way.

When is stress a problem?

Well, note that a critical part of the “stress cycle” described above is the stressful situation ending, and the body recovering. When stress does not end, or when stresses come rapidly and for a long time, one after another, the body does not have time to recover, and the stress becomes chronic. Chronic stress prolongs activation of the SNS and the cortisol response. This extended activity of the physiological stress response that these systems has been shown to have serious detrimental effects on mental and physical health, and this is where stress management and coaching for stress reduction can be really helpful.

Research shows that stress can affect mental and physical health:

• Exams reduce immune cell function and ability to fend of a cold
• Caring for an ill spouse reduces function of our immune systems
• Stressful events are associated with increased incidence of colds and infections
• Chronic stress is associated with development of depression and anxiety
• Long-term stress contributes to heart disease and high blood pressure
• Stress can make it harder to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy; stress is associated with prematurity
• Psychological stress associated with increased cold susceptibility and duration

So what can we do to avoid stress effects on our health?

Of course, it’s impossible to completely eliminate stress from your life, but you can make decisions that control your stress level and help you control the effects of stress on your health. At the core of stress management are things like following a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and making time for uninterrupted relaxation, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Happily, research has shown that people, even those living busy and stressful lives, can avoid many of the negative effects of stress when they implement and stick to stress-management techniques. So, the good news is that with a little planning and some support, stress does not have to create problems for your health- you can anticipate stress, build in support, and take care of your mind and body, even in a stressful world!

It’s a New Year.  What will 2010 bring for you personally and professionally?  At this time of year, we tend to think of making big changes in our lives and “fixing” the things that were unsatisfying about the previous year (or years), and these tend changes frequently take the form of “resolutions”.  New Year’s Resolutions are often large, well-intentioned, sweeping statements for change, that are, frankly for most of us mere mortals, impossible to keep for a variety of reasons.  For example, “Lose Weight” and “Quit Smoking” are 2 common resolutions which, although admirable goals for anyone, are certainly easier said than done.  This is not news to any of us, of course, as reflected in a  recent survey that indicated that 33% of Americans expect to have given up on their resolutions within a month, and fully 75% anticipate their best-laid plans heading down the drain by March of the New Year.  Why does this happen, and given that it does, why do we continue, as intelligent people, to make New Year’s Resolutions over and over again?  Clearly, it’s because we are seeking to better ourselves, improve quality of life for ourselves and for those around us, and are motivated to improve and change for the better.  So what’s the trick here?  How can the cycle of Resolution Failure be broken? 

A resolution, according to the Mirriam-Webster dictionary is, among other things, “the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones.”  This definition is terrifically empowering, and can change Resolution Failure into Resolution Realization when carefully considered and applied.  At the core of this definition is the fact that most things we want to change are hard to change and take many steps.  For example, I am one of those “lose weight” resolvers every year, and happily, the application of this definition has helped me change an upward trend to a downward one over the last couple of years.  The key change in my thinking came when I applied this definition to my goal of losing weight and becoming healthier by resolving, not to just “lose weight” but to implement small, do-able changes through the years that will be sustainable and eventually get me to my goal.  For example, last year, I started wearing a pedometer, which has helped me increase my daily activity quite a bit and supported ongoing modest weight loss.  Thus, the resolution was not “Lose Weight”, but “Wear my Pedometer” which is, frankly, way easier, and still supports the larger goal.  So what’s the take-home message here?  Well, don’t give up on positive change, but re-frame it so at the end of 2010, it’s an accomplishment, not a failure.  Set smaller, achievable goals that you can readily implement and stick to, and before you know it, you’ll be on the road to making your larger goal a reality.  The January issue of my free eZine will address this in more detail.  Happy 2009, and be good to yourself this year!!

Well, it’s a snowy, snowy, snowy day here in Denver. I’m working from home writing grants and post-tenure-review letters and listening to my gleeful children run around the house like maniacs. Snow days are great, aren’t they? Especially when you’re a kid and free to good off all day instead of going to school. They’re great, of course, if you’re a kid- somewhat less great if you’re a parent trying to work from home on such a day and actually finish tasks that you need to get done.

The last thing I or any parent wants to do is rain (or snow) on the kid utopia that is a snow-day. Demanding that they be quiet as mice so I can work is not fair, and although they are respectfully trying to keep it down to a dull roar, it’s not enough to give me the headspace I need to get all the stuff done I need to. How to resolve this conflict without stressing my whole family out? Here are some solutions. They’ve helped us have many a great and productive snow day and not stress out so much that the memories of those days, like today, are unpleasant ones.

1. Set a few simple groundrules. My kids know that after breakfast, I am up working in my office and they are on their own, barring disasters, until lunchtime. This works because my kids are old enough to entertain themselves and know not to start fires. This buys me a good block of time in which I can get some serious work done without interruption. They know, of course, that if someone is hurt or sick, they can come get me. What they do not bother me with is sibling bickering and grousing.

2. Create a sound barrier. This is not a problem for everyone, but I really have a hard time concentrating and getting work done if there is a lot of changing ambient noise, such as kids and dogs playing together, even pretty quietly. As such, I use internet radio and a good set of noise-cancelling headphones to ensconce myself sufficiently to get my work done, yet I am still easily interrupted for emergencies. One great internet radio service is 365Live.com, which offers TONS of selections of different types of music for free. For a few bucks, you can pay to skip the commercials. It is really quite wonderful for background working music if you like that. Here’s what I’m listening to now:

3. Make time for a little fun. It’s hardly fair for Mom to spend her whole day with her nose to the grindstone when the kids are having a blast in the snow. I make plans to take a couple of breaks during the day, one to make and have lunch with my kids, usually watching a movie, and another at some point to just hang out with them for an hour or so. Not only do these breaks give me some fun “snow-day” memories, but they help me be more effective in my work. The cognitive break from work always puts me back at my desk rejuvenated and able to work more efficiently.

I hope these tips are helpful. Stay warm and have a great, productive, and memorable snow day!!

I remember my first major grant rejection (long time ago, and many since then). I had led a blessed life in that regard; every grant I’d written had been funded and I expected this one to be no different. When I opened the envelope, however, and read the notice that I had not been funded, I was stunned. I cried. I smoked (having quit months before). I kicked my trashcan so hard it put a dent in my office wall. I was demoralized and felt like a failure.

However, when the tears dried and I un-crumpled my trashcan, I read the reviews, and they were actually really helpful. They pointed out some important stuff that I used to re-write the grant, which also was not funded, but on the 3rd try (the old days) it was funded. I learned that the “failure” was an opportunity to do better and that I had to reframe it as such. I learned to actually look forward (sort of) to failure, and that it can ultimately get me I want to go.

“There is no such thing as failure.”

When you read the quote above, what’s your reaction? Do you think it’s untrue? Silly glass-half-empty stuff? What if I told you that only you have the power to decide whether or not something is indeed, a “failure?” Obviously, I believe this is true as evidenced in the above vignette. In fact, I’ve come to believe that the word “failure” has no place in our vocabulary.

Why?

Remember when you played the “opposite day” game when you were a kid? You’d play practical jokes on your family and friends and release some passive aggression in the process of claiming “opposite day.” It was great—you could call the cutest boy in the class “ugly,” and then take it all back by simply exclaiming “opposite day!” But, the end result is the same; you still would have acknowledged his cuteness.

Well, let’s play the game. What if today, failure really means success?

How can you acknowledge your success, even as you utter the word “failure”? Well, you can point out:

a. everything that was learned in the process of getting to where you are now—surely not everything goes to the scrap heap

b. that simply being able to recognize everything hadn’t gone according to plan, or achieved the desired outcome (i.e. “failed”), is in itself a positive outcome

c. that the specific path you took this go round, clearly wasn’t the right one and so it has successfully been eliminated and will not be repeated

d. that you’ll know to do things differently in the future

e. that the experience has enabled you to grow in some way

“Failure” is feedback. “Failure” can simply be a great way to get us to pause in the midst of our process, and get some critical information to indicate that we may need to change direction, try something new, continue our learning, or shift our focus. Imagine what would happen if we didn’t get that feedback, and continued endlessly along the wrong path, toward the wrong goal, or without ever learning a new approach? The thought is pretty scary, isn’t it?

Failure then, can really be seen as positive feedback—information that gets us on the right track.
For, without it, we would surely be lost. The key then, is to identify it quickly, and change direction, try something new, or shift our focus.

Here are some tips:

 Always have a clear idea of where you want to go and continue to re-evaluate it as you move forward

 Identify specific milestones or markers along the way, to let you know you’re on the right track and celebrate each success

 If something doesn’t appear to be working, or working fast enough, don’t hesitate to try something new

 Continually learn—from others with whom you work, seek out experts, find others who may have traveled down a similar road before

And always remember:

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down”

“You NEVER fail until you stop trying”

“If you are not making any mistakes, you’re not really doing anything with your life”