One of the hardest things for me in balancing my life is committing to and sticking with exercising and eating better. I’ve made a vow to myself to clean up my eating and to get regular physical exercise, and most of the time, I do pretty well at both. But it’s so easy to get up in the morning and say “Oh, I know I’m supposed to work out today, but I’ve got tons to do at work, so I really just need to get to it.” or “I’m in such a hurry this morning that I just don’t have time to eat a healthy breakfast- I’ll just skip it or grab a McGriddle on my way to work.” Of course, sometimes life will intervene and you really do need to adjust your day, but when you do, be conscious that ever decision has consequences. For example, if you don’t eat breakfast, you’re likely to be way hungrier at lunch and may make even worse food choices than a McGriddle (it is possible to do that ). Similarly, if you choose not to exercise, your energy level may be lower through the day and you may find yourself with a shorter temper.
 

It’s true that if making these exceptions truly is exceptional, then it’s no big deal. However, any time we do something and do it more than once, it has the potential to become a habit, good or bad. Maybe this has only happened to me, but if I get that McGriddle on the way to work, at lunch, I figure “Oh well, I’ve already blown it for today, so I’ll go ahead and have those onion rings at lunch.” Suddenly, an exception has become 2, and so the slippery slope forms.
 

How do you keep this from happening? Of course it will once in a while, but keeping your goals in mind, whether fitness or not, is really essential. Even if you skip working out, for example, decide that you’ll take a walk at lunch or take the stairs all day at work to inject a little physical activity back into your day. Likewise, if you eat junk for breakfast, recommit to eating clean for lunch, and hold yourself to it. The point is not to let a slip or misstep slide into the territory of moving from a simple exception to a habit, but to bring yourself back to what you said you were going to do for yourself.
 

This is, of course, easier said than done, so it may be worthwhile to see if you can find little tricks to help you stay focused on your goals, and hopefully, shy away from making that first exception on most occasions. I was having a particularly hard time sticking to eating clean, and found myself frequently making exceptions to my plan of eating unprocessed, healthy foods as a matter of course.
 

 
I needed some help remembering my commitment when the time came to make a food choice and to be mindful enough of that commitment all day to stick to my guns. To help me do this, I made a bracelet for myself that I wear every day that helps me track portions of the clean foods I want to eat (carbs, proteins, fruits, and veggies) and serves as a powerful reminder that I want to eat clean. I wear it on my wrist and when I look at a menu or reach for food or drink, I see the bracelet and it reminds me to think before I eat. This has been so helpful to me that I shared it with my friends and have made this bracelet available for sale. Check it out if eating clean is a goal for you and you’d like some affordable support in developing the habit of clean eating: http://CleanEatingBracelet.com.
 

Whether it’s clean eating, exercising, or some other goal you have, take the time to stop and think about the consequences, even if they’re small, of that choice. When you make a choice that deviates from your plans, don’t beat yourself up, but get back on track. Remember that the goals you’ve set are for yourself, and honor yourself by meeting them!
 

So I just came back from a vacation. Not one of those taking-work-with-me-call- me-if-you-need-me-here’s-my-cell-phone –number-and-I’m checking-my-email “vacations”, but a real, totally unplugged, relaxing, no work at all vacation.

Wow- it was GREAT.

And you know what? The office did not fall apart and the world did not come to an end as a result of me being out of the office and totally dark for 6 days! As a matter of fact, all the work I left and frankly did not worry about is still here ready for me to tackle afresh, which I can do now that I’m rested and refreshed.

Don’t get me wrong- this was the first real, bona fide Vacation (note the capital “v”) that I’ve taken in recent memory. Why? Well, I felt guilty about taking time off, even though others around me did it, and I felt worried that I’d “miss something” or that something major would fall through the cracks with me gone.

Several seasons of observation, however, of the people in my work and personal life whom I view as successful, balanced, and consistently effective people have taught me several things that have made me a big believer in The Vacation. Here are the highlights and what I’ve done to incorporate them into my own life- I hope they are helpful for you:

1. Work Hard, Play Hard: Not in the sense of kill yourself and then recover, but what I’ve seen is that people I really respect and admire professionally and personally are unrelenting in their ability to be effective at work, engaging in a minimum of time-wasting and a maximum of thoughtful, hard work. When they are at work, they are 100% AT WORK, not dorking around on YouTube or Facebook, going out to coffee and social lunches, or gabbing in the offices of others. This incredible and consistent effort while at work is balanced by well-deserved 100% VACATIONS. They may not happen very often, but when they do, they are complete; the vacationer is absolutely and completely out of the office. When the vacationer returns to work, he/she is refreshed, clear, and able to take back on the mantle of effective work and leadership they bore prior to the break. Their tank has been refilled, and everyone benefits.

2. Use Logic: Plan your vacation time carefully. Don't schedule it during a major project that requires your involvement. Steer clear of typically busy times during the year, and when possible, plan to be gone during “slow times” seasons.

3. Get your House in Order: Prepare your workplace and colleagues by handing off pieces of your work while you are gone, and return the favor when they are on vacation. Forward calls to someone in your organization or leave an outgoing voice message that you're out of the office and will follow up when you return, and where folks should call for urgent matters. Automate your e-mail with an 'out of the office' reply.

4. Clock Out: When on vacation, do not take work with you, check your email, answer work phone calls, or check in. The fear that something major will happen and that the office will not be able to struggle along without your wisdom is simply unfounded. Use this precious time to recharge, and do it fully. Imagine filling up a gas tank that has a hole in the bottom. Although you keep putting gas in, it never fills up because it is leaking out the whole time. Vacations are like that for your physical and emotional heath, and work intrusions are like the hole in the tank. If you spend a great day hiking in the summer sun only to come back to your cabin to deal with an hour of work email, you are simply not effectively refilling your tank.

5. Don’t Apologize: Everyone who works and works hard deserves some down time. It is yours- take it and make the most of it.

No matter how hard, complicated, or demanding your job may be, it’s critical to take the time to tune out and take a real Vacation. You will return renewed, refreshed, and ready to deal with the work you left behind and what accumulated while you were away. This investment in yourself is one of the most overlooked yet valuable tools you have to avoid career burnout, emotional fatigue, and untoward effects of stress on your physical and mental health.

Many of us have either stopped a diet or fitness program or never started one for reasons like:

        "I'm so busy doing other things for other people at home and work that I just don't have time to do this too." 

Or maybe its:

      "If I take the time to prioritize my fitness I won't be able to do all the other things I'm doing." 

One way or the other, there seem to be a bunch of reasons why fitness and diet fall by the wayside.  We decide that work, or hobbies, or groups we belong to, or family are so demanding and take up so much of our time that we have to drop our plans to eat well and/or exercise in favor of all the other stuff we have to do. 

Unfortunately, when we do that, we often enter a negative spiral of some combination of:

1.  Feeling resentful that we "don't have any time for me"
2.  Feeling stressed out and having no way to diffuse that
3.  Lacking energy and focus
4.  Feeling physically out of shape or weaker that we'd like
5.  Gaining weight and feeling awful about it
6.  Increasing risk for health problems associated with weight, being sedentary, or poor eating habits

Once these things start to creep in we tend to spiral further into them, feeling worse and feeling worse about ourselves.  This then translates into the very people we are "serving" or working with at work or home noticing that our demeanor is not so pleasant, that we "look tired", or, my personal favorite, "look like Hell" (yes my previous boss said this to me).  It can also affect how well we do our tasks or jobs-  we may become less effective or more error-prone.  In any event, the end result of all our sacrificing our own care to care for others has the unintended consequence of impairing our ability to meet the demands before us.  It sucks, and it does not have to be this way.

I can say this because I know this all too well-  it's one of the reasons I'm where I am today.    Before I took a job at my university as an Associate Dean 3 years ago in a tumultuous college with a rotating door for Deans and huge budget challenges, I had been battling my weight for years and years.  I was not in great shape but I was in control and reasonably active.  Then, as the demands of the job increased and increased and my demands at home did the same thing as my husband struggled with his career and felt the impact of the failing economy, I totally gave up my fitness program and any semblance of healthy eating.  I wasn't getting ice cream or cheeseburgers every day, but I was overeating and drinking more than usual to compensate for the stress.  My sleep became disrupted and I pretty much never worked out.  By the end of the job (I finally resigned at the end of 2009), I'd gained more than 20 pounds and felt weak, flabby, and demoralized.  The real bummer was that all those bad feelings bled over to my family, whom I'd been trying to support through all my "sacrifices".  Talk about adding insult to injury.

So after I got my sea legs back from that job I had an epiphany.  I'm a life coach in addition to being a professor, and I'm always telling clients to define and set priorities and put in the time and energy necessary to make them happen-  why on earth had dI not done this with my fitness????  DOH.

So I've done this, and it's not all that bad.  I still work a stressful job at the University, but it's not as bad as it was, and I'm plenty busy in my coaching businesses and with my awesome family, but I've prioritized two simple things for myself that are non-negotiable:

1.  1 hour per day of exercise (Beachbody videos, walking, elliptical, stationary bike, yoga)
2.  Mindful eating (skipping sugar, lots of fruits and veggies, no fried stuff, less wine, less cheese, watching portion sizes) with one "cheat meal" per week if I want it (which I often don't now).

Really, this is 1-2 hours a day of effort at the outside-  this is no more time than I was spending watching TV, goofing around on the internet, tweeting, and facebooking.  I still have time to do all that, but  just not as much.  The best part?  Not only have I already lost 15+ pounds and 2 pant sizes, but my family is glad to have my (generally) cheery demeanor back and I feel strong and healthy again.  I still have more weight to loose to get to my goal, but it will happen this time.  I am a priority at last, and that means that I can take better care of others in my life as well.

The things that have made this possible are not only my decision to invest some time every day in taking care of my physical and mental health, but finding fitness support and solutions that make sense for my life.  Beachbody home fitness videos have made the difference for me, as has the support of the BB community and my coach.  I can help you make these same changes for free in a way that fits with your life.  Click  for Free Fitness Coaching  and select "free membership" to start your diet and fitness coaching with me, DrMary.  You can also email me at DenverLifeCoach@gmail.com to get started.  If I can do this, anyone can, and I can help you make it happen too.

This time of year I get lots of folks thinking about how to control stress in this New Year. Part of this conversation always involves discussiding the myths and realities of what stress does to our bodies and our health, and what we can do to alleviate those effects. Here are the basics of that conversation: What is Stress? Stress is often defined as events, situations, emotions, and interactions which are perceived as negatively affecting your well being. What are some common causes of stress? Stress can be brought about by a traumatic accident, death, or emergency situation. Stress can also be a side effect of a serious illness or disease. Stress can also arise from positive things. There is also stress associated with daily life, the workplace, and family responsibilities. What are some early signs of stress? Stress can take on many different forms, and can contribute to symptoms of illness. Common symptoms include headache, sleep disorders, difficulty concentrating, short-temper, upset stomach, job dissatisfaction, low morale, depression, and anxiety. How do our bodies respond to stress? In response to stress, our bodies undergo a cascade of physiological events which help us cope with the stressful situation. Perception of a stress activates the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), a process known as the “fight or flight” response, which mobilizes energy to help us respond to the stress. For example, activation of the SNS diverts blood flow away form the stomach and digestion to the heart and lungs to prepare for a possible need to run away form a threat. Stress also increases release of cortisol from our adrenal glands, which further contributes to redirecting energy toward dealing with stress and away from other bodily functions. At the conclusion of the stress, all these reactions are reduced to normal levels, and the body quickly returns to its state or balance, or “homeostasis”. This is a normal pattern of stress responsivity and recovery, and when this happens, we remain healthy in our minds and bodies and, importantly, ready to respond to the inevitable stresses that will come our way. When is stress a problem? Well, note that a critical part of the “stress cycle” described above is the stressful situation ending, and the body recovering. When stress does not end, or when stresses come rapidly and for a long time, one after another, the body does not have time to recover, and the stress becomes chronic. Chronic stress prolongs activation of the SNS and the cortisol response. This extended activity of the physiological stress response that these systems has been shown to have serious detrimental effects on mental and physical health, and this is where stress management and coaching for stress reduction can be really helpful. Research shows that stress can affect mental and physical health: • Exams reduce immune cell function and ability to fend of a cold • Caring for an ill spouse reduces function of our immune systems • Stressful events are associated with increased incidence of colds and infections • Chronic stress is associated with development of depression and anxiety • Long-term stress contributes to heart disease and high blood pressure • Stress can make it harder to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy; stress is associated with prematurity • Psychological stress associated with increased cold susceptibility and duration So what can we do to avoid stress effects on our health? Of course, it’s impossible to completely eliminate stress from your life, but you can make decisions that control your stress level and help you control the effects of stress on your health. At the core of stress management are things like following a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and making time for uninterrupted relaxation, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Happily, research has shown that people, even those living busy and stressful lives, can avoid many of the negative effects of stress when they implement and stick to stress-management techniques. So, the good news is that with a little planning and some support, stress does not have to create problems for your health- you can anticipate stress, build in support, and take care of your mind and body, even in a stressful world!